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Man Tries to Burn Ex-Girlfriend's House Down With Cheetos, Fails Miserably

Published On 11/19/2016 Published On 11/19/2016

Cheetos are a delightfully unhealthy snack that resemble cheese-covered packing peanuts. They also, incidentally, can aid in the dastardly deed of arson, according to local Massachusetts newspaper, The Tuanton Daily Gazette.

The paper reports that 31-year-old Shemroy Williams attempted to claim revenge on his ex-girlfriend by lighting her house on fire while she was still inside, apparently using Cheetos as a kindling substance meant to spark the flame. Investigators discovered that Williams had tried to burn the house in five different locations, using a propane tank as the main explosive agent. After his plot was foiled, he was caught orange-handed holding a bag of the cheese dust snack.

The inherent horror of the crime aside, the act seemed something like a fool’s errand, given that Cheetos are not flammable. Williams was convicted of malicious destruction of property and handed a maximum sentence of 2-and-a-half years, according to the Bristol County District Attorney’s Office.

The news only adds to the long, fascinating history of Cheetos, which maintain a multitude of trivial secrets. Luckily, the snack still hasn’t aided in any terrible crimes.

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