Man Live-Tweets a Guy’s Struggle to Return Butternut Squash He Thought Was Cheese

Food can be deceiving. But when you’ve accidentally purchased butternut squash under the assumption that the sliced, orange cubes are really cheese, you have no one to blame but yourself. This exact grocery store foible played out right before the eyes of the writer James Dator. Like all great scribes of our epoch, Dator decided to document the woeful exchange on Twitter, as the man who made the mistake purchase haggled with the grocery store employees to get his hard earned money back.

What follows is a scenario emblematic of our internet obsessed culture. And an advisory to read the damn labels on your grocery packaging, because squash and cheese have always been very different foods.

Enter Dator:

Let's stop here. The man, who we can presume was fuming, asked the grocery store workers to reimburse him for his obvious ineptitude. Like a man charged with throwing a huge Super Bowl party, he then asked for two pounds of cubed cheese, but for the same price that he paid for the squash.

The man was probably disenchanted to learn that grocery stores do not sell two-pound bags of cubed cheese. 

Things descended from there. 

Of course, we may not know the whole story behind this grocery store blunder, but let it be a lesson to anyone with a pulse. If you can't tell the difference between cubed cheese and squash, you don't deserve cubed cheese. Squash, in this instance, is a metaphor for failure. 

[h/t Mashable]

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Sam Blum is a News Staff Writer for Thrillist. He's also a martial arts and music nerd who appreciates a fine sandwich and cute dogs. Find his clips in The Guardian, Rolling Stone, The A.V. Club and Esquire. He's on Twitter @Blumnessmonster