Mario Now Has Nipples and the Internet Is Having a Meltdown
The newest sensation to sweep the gaming world is not a flashy console or new technology, but rather an alluring pair of nipples. On Wednesday, Nintendo unveiled forthcoming games and company news during its Nintendo Direct livestream event, but the routine announcements have been buried under a deluge of tweets stemming from another, more significant revelation: Mario has nipples.
Mario, who is typically clad in overalls as he dashes through the sewers in pursuit of justice, has never bared his chest for the camera. But, apparently, in the new edition of Super Mario Odyssey, he enjoys a lovely day at the beach in which his presumptive nipples greet the world. Select All first noticed the pile-on, and let's just say the mere sight of normal physiology on Mario's chest has prompted a... captivating discourse:
The fascination lasted overnight and into the morning, as an easy Twitter search for "Mario Nipples" will demonstrate.
Nintendo hasn't commented on the controversy surrounding Mario's areolae -- it took 32 years from the birth of Mario until now for his nipples to see the light of day -- although the issue has divided gamers on Reddit. Some in the community can't allay their curiosity, and are requesting an AMA with whoever made the decision to give the character his two red bumps. Others are complaining that Mario even has nipples, for some reason. (Nintendo character nipples seem to be a hotly contested subject, as another Reddit thread debates the provenance and subsequent disappearance of Donkey Kong's nipples). These are important issues.
While Mario's nipples aren't yet ready for your playable pleasure, they will grace your Nintendo upon the release of Super Mario Odyssey on October 27. Let's hope you can handle it.