News

The 9 Sick Day Excuses Your Boss Is Most Likely to Believe

Calling in sick to work can be quite the nefarious act, especially when you aren’t sick at all. As any seasoned worker-bee will tell you, playing hooky is an art, not a science, but according to a new study, you don’t need a duplicitous scheme to convince your boss of an illness.

AXA PP, an independent health insurance provider in the UK, surveyed 1,000 bosses, asking them which employee excuses for missing work they consider most credible. Unsurprisingly, claiming a sinkhole swallowed your home, or falling prey to “the black lung,” didn’t make the cut. Here they are, in order of most believable to least:

1. Flu
2. Back pain
3. Injury by accident
4. Stress
5. Elective surgery
6. Depression
7. Anxiety
8. Common cold
9. Migraine
10. None of the above

You’ll notice that flu satisfied four out of every 10 bosses, while back pain and injury caused by an accident came a close second. The outlier here seems to be elective surgery -- which could mean, quite plausibly, that opting for a nose job seems just common and severe enough to warrant a day in bed. Perhaps most telling though is “None of the above,” which notched the final spot on the list.

It seems to say that your thinly veiled chicanery doesn't fool your boss. Or that your boss is a jerk. 

[H/T Esquire]