Google is an ever-present oracle that can dredge up information and answer your most private questions in a matter of seconds. It's also the venue where much of humanity posits the questions it's too afraid to ask other people, for fear of embarrassment. But because Google is a complex infrastructure that tracks your every move like a data-siphoning cloud, we have this map of the most popular "Why Do" questions in every state, compiled by the thoughtful wonks at AT&T All Home Connections.
As you might expect, the questions range from the innocuous to the existential. They also pertain largely to the kneading rituals of cats. (If you live in Oregon, Indiana, Kentucky, Iowa, and Kansas, you're likely Googling the question "Why do cats knead?"). Colorado has an inquisitive similarity with Indiana as well, as residents of both states are often asking the internet: "Why do my boobs hurt?" In the Mormon stronghold of Utah, people are asking about the recent NFL national anthem protests, and also inquiring why people yawn.
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Predictably, many of the questions reflect the human need to be loved, and might hint that some of us need to spend time away from the internet. Arizona, which must be home to more than a few jilted lovers, asks "Why do people lie?." This is probably a better question for Jean Paul Sarte than a search engine. Florida, reflecting the dreary vibes lots of people get in the winter time, wonders "Why do I feel so alone?," which is weird, because it's sunny as hell in Florida.
Whether or not tossing these queries into the digital ether yields anything informative hasn't been tested. And while these might not be anything you'd ask your neighbor or coworker, they still don't hold a candle to the most embarrassing questions asked on Google. Those are in a realm all on their own.
Check out the full list of states below:
Alabama: Why do dogs lick Alaska: Why do we celebrate Halloween Arizona: Why do people lie Arkansas: Why do we sleep California: Why do flies like poop / Why do ankles swell / Why do birds suddenly appear / Why do girls wear makeup / Why do humans kiss / Why do humans cry / Why do I feel so alone / Why do jumping beans jump / Why do people snore Colorado: Why do my boobs hurt Connecticut: Why do yankees do thumbs down Delaware: Why do dogs eat grass District of Columbia: Why do I sweat so much Florida: Why do I feel so alone Georgia: Why do you love me Hawaii: Why do roosters crow Idaho: Why do men have nipples Illinois: Why do dogs have tails / Why do my teeth hurt / Why do zebras have stripes Indiana: Why do my boobs hurt / Why do cats knead Iowa: Why do cats knead Kansas: Why do cats knead / Why do I sweat so much Kentucky: Why do cats knead Louisiana: Why do people yawn Maine: Why do leaves change color Maryland: Why do you want to work here Massachusetts: Why do cats hate water Michigan: Why do I have diarrhea / Why do people cheat Minnesota: Why do apples float Mississippi: Why do living things need water Missouri: Why do tomatoes split Montana: Why do dogs eat grass Nebraska: Why do fireflies glow Nevada: Why do dogs lick New Hampshire: Why do leaves change color New Jersey: Why do yankees do thumbs down New Mexico: Why do we dream New York: Why do feet smell North Carolina: Why do hurricanes form North Dakota: Why do dogs eat grass Ohio: Why do I hate myself / Why do guys have nipples Oklahoma: Why do dogs lick Oregon: Why do cats knead Pennsylvania: Why do birds sing / Why do cats hate water / Why do dogs pant / Why do farts smell Rhode Island: Why do cats purr South Carolina: Why do I sweat so much / Why do kids bully South Dakota: Why do dogs eat grass / Why do dogs eat poop Tennessee: Why do fireflies glow Texas: Why do ears ring / Why do eyes twitch / Why do I bruise easy / Why do my kidneys hurt / Why do my legs ache / Why do seals slap themselves / Why do they call it the birds and the bees / Why do veins pop out Utah: Why do we yawn / Why do NFL players kneel Vermont: Why do leaves change color Virginia: Why do people cheat Washington: Why do cats like boxes West Virginia: Why do cats purr Wisconsin: Why do fireflies glow Wyoming: How to kiss
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Sam Blum is a News Staff Writer for Thrillist. He's also a martial arts and music nerd who appreciates a fine sandwich and cute dogs. Find his clips in The Guardian, Rolling Stone, The A.V. Club and Esquire. He's on Twitter @Blumnessmonster.