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The 8 Unhealthiest Chain Restaurant Meals of 2017

Once again, the Center for Science in the Public Interest has released its essential Xtreme Food Awards list -- a comic take on the serious and not-that-fun problem facing so many of America's chain restaurants: their offerings are wildly, staggeringly unhealthy.

The awards this year were designed to ape the style of the Oscars, with fun categories like "Worst Adapted Pasta" and "Most Damage from a Supporting Vegetable" gracing dishes made by spots like the Cheesecake Factory and Texas Roadhouse, respectively. They fill out a list of pithy jokes that otherwise includes numbers, nutrition info, some history, and -- most importantly -- a lineup of the most calorie-stacked meals in the land.

Take The Cheesecake Factory for instance. It's a repeat offender that made the list last year and the year before, and its ignominious return this year is heralded by two imposing meals that could drive some people into a diabetic coma: the Pasta Napoletana entrée, weighing in at 2,310 calories and a whopping 79 grams of saturated fat in one corner; and the chain's Flying Gorilla cocktail, weighing in at 950 calories and 26 grams of saturated fat per glass.

Because we are all adults equipped with a healthy sense of humor about the crap we stuff in our bodies, the good folks at CSPI put the latter into context like this: "It’s like kicking off your meal by pouring a 20 oz. Budweiser over five scoops of Breyers Chocolate ice cream. Cheers!"

The full report with all the numbers is worth a read, but if you just want to gape at these dishes and their calorie counts and wonder how the hell they even exist, peruse the entries and their accompanying photos in the list below alongside CSPI's official names for their awards. (My favorite is the one bestowed upon Uno Pizzeria and Grill's selection.)

Score the big cheese of burgers with our Cheese Curd Bacon Burger

A post shared by Buffalo Wild Wings (@bwwings) on

Worst Cheese in a Leading Role

Cheese Curd Bacon Burger at Buffalo Wild Wings
Calories: 1,950

#ultimatesmokehousecombo 🔥

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Worst Visceral Effects

Ultimate Smokehouse Combo at Chili’s
Calories: 2,440

Twirling onto a fork near you, the new Pasta Napoletana! 🍝 🍽

A post shared by The Cheesecake Factory (@cheesecakefactory) on

Worst Adapted Pasta

Pasta Napoletana at The Cheesecake Factory
Calories: 2,310

Cheeseburger meets omelette. Make my ❤️ melt.

A post shared by IHOP (@ihop) on

Least Original Omelette

Cheeseburger Omelette at IHOP
Calories: 1,990

Worst Original Appetizer

Carnivore Pizzadilla at Dave & Buster’s
Calories: 1,970

Most Ridiculous Ending

Ridiculously Awesome, Insanely Large Chocolate Cake at Uno Pizzeria & Grill
Calories: 1,740

Load it up. #NationalSweetPotatoMonth

A post shared by texasroadhouse (@texasroadhouse) on

Most Damage from a Supporting Vegetable

16 oz. Prime Rib + Loaded Sweet Potato at Texas Roadhouse 
Calories: 1,570 + 770 = 2,820

Worst Cocktail Design

Flying Gorilla at The Cheesecake Factory
Calories: 950

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Eric Vilas-Boas is a writer and editor at Thrillist. Follow him @e_vb_.