NASA Releases Evidence That the Sun Celebrates Spooky Season

You know what's annoying? How every year I spend hours searching for a pumpkin that isn't entirely flat on one side, freshly sharpen my knives with the bottom of my favorite ceramic mug, draw with painstaking precision an "intermediate" face I found on eHow, and still come out with a one-eyed, lopsided, creepy uncle jack-o'-lantern.

And the sun, a brainless sphere of hot plasma, can just become a perfect jack-o'-lantern by using its own body heat. Well, at least that's what it sort of looks like in an image of our solar system's star captured by NASA.

It's nearly impossible to get the face right -- even Papa John's Halloween Jack-o'-Lantern pizza looks a bit wack, what with its asymmetrical pepperoni smile and beady-olive gaze. But on October 8, 2014, NASA first released the image of a flawless J-man seemingly superimposed on the sun. But it wasn't an edit -- the imagine, captured at NASA's Solar Dynamics Observatory, is a result of regions of the sun burning more brightly than others. 

"Even our star celebrates the spooky season," NASA wrote in a Facebook post. "Active regions on the Sun created this jack-o'-lantern face." OK, we get it, the sun is better than us at crafts.

More recently, NASA's solar probe sent back the first photo from inside the sun's atmosphere. No brain was found in there. Meanwhile, I got a PET scan, and they found a fully functional, healthy brain in there. Sigh. I guess this is the sun's orbit and we're just living meaninglessly within it. 

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