News

Someone Threw a Dildo on the Field at an NFL Game, but No One Knows Why

Published On 10/30/2016 Published On 10/30/2016
dildo football
CBS / NFL

Lots of strange things happen at football games. There are the usual tailgating antics (and its Buffalo equivalent, which involves jumping through tables and streaking, among other acts previously seen on Jackass) and there is the classic guy running onto the field. Sometimes, there are even weird costumes, shirtless fans in the cold, and love/hate relationships with inanimate objects.

However, a dildo on the football field is one you probably haven't seen before.

 

CJ Zero

During Sunday's contest between the New England Patriots and Buffalo Bills, there was a minor sex toy delay so that a referee could unceremoniously kick a phallus to the sideline, where some poor underling had to use their hands to pick up the object of indiscernible origin.

While it's known that the dildo landed on the field and many are attributing the dildo's presence on the field to a Twitter user known as @hub_nation, there isn't much else that's known about the situation. 

For instance, was this premeditated or did the tosser just happen to have a dildo in their bag and decide, "Screw that call, I'm throwing a dildo on the field"?

If it was premeditated, was it purchased specifically for this purpose? If not, is it pre-owned? How did they get a dildo into the building in the first place? Aren't their bag checks? If security finds a dildo in a fan's bag, are they in the habit of confiscating the dildo? Is that policy being reviewed? Is the person who threw the dildo a quarterback? It landed perfectly on-camera, presumably from a good distance. Was someone trying to celebrate Gronk's 69th career touchdown?

It's a real Tootsie Pop situation and the world is probably better off never finding out the answers to any of these questions.

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Dustin Nelson is a News Writer with Thrillist. He holds a Guinness World Record, but has never met the fingernail lady. He’s written for Sports Illustrated, Men’s Journal, The Rumpus, and other digital wonderlands. Follow him @dlukenelson.

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