Crying at the bar is, well, not exactly an ideal night out (just ask the ex you dumped over Snapchat), but apparently, a pair of maniacal artists are encouraging people to deliberately mix alcohol and actual tears from their eyes to make something that's actually not sad, albeit weird as hell: cocktail bitters.
As reported by Grub Street, Sam Bompas and Harry Parr -- the same guys who brought that breathable alcohol bar to the world -- are inviting people to a workshop in London on December 7th, where they'll collect your tears, pasteurize them, and assist you in creating a custom bottle of cocktail bitters. They'll even provide a "festive label" for your bitters so you can give them to your friends and family, which they said is "arguably the most poignant and personal Christmas gift imaginable." It might just leave the recipient in tears.
As a description of the event explains, "There are 3 types of tears; basal, reflex and psychic tears. We will aim to extract all three by various methods, from massage and menthol, in order to distil [sic] the finest bottle of bitters. Then you’ll select your aromatic herbs and spices and infuse or tincture them in high proof spirit."
To be clear, this is almost certainly not what Harry Potter was planning when he collected Severus Snape's tears in the last book. Also, just think of all the tearful takes on classic cocktails you can create for your friends and family -- things like the Sad Fashioned, the Ne-groaning, the Pisco Sour Sour, and the Sad-zerac. Sound delicious, right?
But regardless of how you feel about drinking your own or someone else's tears, it's probably best not to knock it 'til you cry it.
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Tony Merevick is Cities News Editor at Thrillist and wonders if he can make some quick cash by selling his tears now. Send news tips to firstname.lastname@example.org and follow him on Twitter @tonymerevick.