This One Quality in Your Partner Can Make or Break the Relationship


Whether or not your significant other shares your passion for Stargate SG-1 may seem important, but it's not vital to the success of a relationship. This quality is.

In an interview with TechInsider, couples psychologist and founder of The Couples Institute Dr. Peter Pearson said he believes "sharing core values" is the "holy grail" of a successful relationship, meaning that one thing that's hard to find but makes all the difference.

Explaining his stance, he argued "you can negotiate your interests, but not your values," and pointed out that initial attraction can fade overtime, making a shared, concrete value system way more important. To paint a picture, Pearson cites a couple from one of his workshops:

"He was building this huge house that overlooked a big vista, and she did not want to waste money on this ostentatious, wasteful shlock. She had so much disdain for his life dream of this house — that's a huge collision of values, and that's not an easy thing to compromise on."

There you go. You can totally compromise and watch a science fiction on Saturday and a romantic comedy on Sunday, given you're a decent, slightly flexible person (if you're not this whole steady relationship thing might be hard for you), but it's too destructive to try compromising on life-long dreams.

Remember this when that girl who shares all your nerdy interests tells you she doesn't want that big house on the lake and the five kids you've always wanted. No matter how good her Darth Maul costume is, it ain't gonna work.

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Kara King is a News Writer at Thrillist and is really bad at that whole compromise thing. Send news tips to and follow her at @karatillie.