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People Can't Stop Driving Their Cars Directly Into This Restaurant

the hornet
Courtesy of The Hornet

As a waitress, I made an unfortunate habit of leaning over tables to refill water glasses and coffee mugs, only to find the ends of my hair lacquered in things like maple syrup, ketchup, or balsamic dressing. Even with my hair up, I somehow managed to coat my split ends, shift after shift, in rogue condiments. The laundry list of woes shared by food service employees across the country is enumerable: bratty customers, sub-par tippers, blunt kitchen staffs, achey legs, blisters, guests with niche allergies. And for one popular Denver-based haunt, you can tack "folks driving their cars directly into the dining room" onto the roster of grievances. 

Yes, this is a legitimate concern: The Hornet, a Colorado restaurant, is currently dealing with the repercussions of the third motor vehicle that has careened directly into the front of the building. This past Saturday, a driver cruised into the storefront, destroying much of the front wall and somehow narrowly avoiding both the staff and the present customers, according to a report by Denver7. In spite of the fact that the venue has legitimately installed concrete barriers to prevent this very thing from happening (after the first two occasions), the 19-year-old driver still managed to make quite the mess. He is currently under arrest for careless driving and suspicion of DUI. 

"This year, we are cursed," the restaurant's owner Sean Workman told Fox31. The karmically-targeted venue is now facing $60,000 in damages. Fortunately, the place seems to have a sense of humor about the whole charade: the staff decorated the boards outside the damaged property with the words, "#parkingintherear."

Nine months earlier, the owners were similarly forced to test the limits of their good humor when yet another driver wound up in the restaurant's dining room. "Again, not a drive-thru... #notadrivethru," they claimed sheepishly on Instagram. According to Denverite, this particular instance had occurred when one driver swerved out of the way of another.

Naturally, this post appeared on the heels of the first traumatic crash of 2018 at the Hornet. 9News reported that in February, a man had claimed there was someone in his car with a gun to his head, and he'd spun out of control, sliding directly into the restaurant's front window. This was, of course, a small tragedy -- but out of the ashes, the brilliant "#notadrivethru" was born. 

Beyond the obvious brilliance of their social media retorts, the place is well aware this is a serious matter. "It’s scary, something has to be done to slow traffic down on this corridor," Workman told transit advocacy group, Streetsblog.

But you know what they say: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Crash your car into the front window of my restaurant three times, consider a better insurance plan. And maybe... relocate.

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Eliza Dumais is a news writer at Thrillist. Follow her on Twitter for proof.