Like a zombified high school acquaintance you didn't stay in touch with, Pirates of the Caribbean has risen from the dead and looks vaguely familiar. Determined to buckle your swashes once every few years, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales is the fifth installment in the film franchise, which based on a theme park ride.
While it feels awfully familiar, it holds back on the franchise's most familiar face. Johnny Depp, the man who has floated the series for 13 years, is nowhere to be found in the trailer. Instead, you get two minutes of the most expensive looking cliffs you've ever seen. It opens on cliffs. Then gives you more cliffs. Then there's a person and they hear something strange. Is it the cliffs? Better take a look.
When the trailer isn't giving CGI fans a buffet o' cliffs — with a side of look at all these shadows! — it provides a first look at Cap'n Jack Sparrow's newest foe, Captain Salazar, played by Javier Bardem. In his brief moment between shots of cliffs, Salazar gushes thick black bile and issues a very kind threat on Sparrow's life. Then, of course, there are more cliffs.