Welp, Pokémon Sex Toys Are Here

Rule 34 pretty much speaks for itself. If you're not familiar, just Google it. But as an offshoot of Rule 34 that I'm inventing now, if something's popular enough, eventually, somebody's going to make a themed sex toy of said popular thing. Thus: Pokémon sex toys.

Following the outrageous success of Pokémon Go, the entrepreneurial spirit of GeekySexToys has birthed the rubbery pleasure wares Pallet Town has been awaiting: Bulbasaur, Charmander, Spuirtle -- and, of course -- Pikachu-themed dildos. 

On the off chance you're still reading (or even clicked in the first place), here's the detailed description of each sex toy, per the Etsy listing:


A grass type Pokémoan. Bulby has a large seed tip making it a very pleasurable friend to have. It's seed is 5cm wide and 4cm tall and its body is 16cm tall and 3.5cm wide.


A slightly thinner, fire type Pokémoan with a flaming tail. Standing 18cm tall and 4cm wide at its widest point Charmy gives intense orgasms everywhere it goes. 


A water Pokémoan. Squirty has a smooth round head with a large grooved turtle shell on its back. Its bubbly head measures 4cm wide whilst his body measures 6cm wide and 14cm tall.


This small electric type anal Pokémoan is a perfect size for the average Pokémoan trainer. Piky is an extremely cute yet essential addition to your team. Its insertable size is 2.5cm wide by 4cm tall and his tail is 8cm long.

Pokémon Sex Toys

The entire four-pack of skin-safe silicone dongs will set you back $199, plus shipping and probably some dignity. OK, all of your dignity. BUT it also comes with a special Pokécase (not a sanctioned term), and they come from the land down under. No, not your nether regions... Australia! Though they'll likely end up emigrating to your nether regions soon enough. Adult fun!

If you weren't already intrigued, there are only 50 sets for sale, making them about as rare as an Articuno. Gotta catch 'em all!

No, actually, you don't. Just be glad they haven't made a Snorlax or Pinsir dildo yet.


Sign up here for our daily Thrillist email, and get your fix of the best in food/drink/fun.

Ryan Craggs is Thrillist's Senior News Editor. His best Pokémon is a CP 1653 Vaporeon, but that seems kind of irrelevant right now. Follow him @ryanrcraggs.