The pope had a pizza party. Say it aloud to yourself. Scream it at your goldfish. Tattoo it on your lower lip. One of the most venerated and distinguished humans alive, Pope Francis, Vicar of Jesus Christ, celebrated his 81st year on Earth with a 13-foot-long pizza in Vatican City on Sunday.
A group of sick children celebrated along with him because the pope's a good guy and because not inviting children to a pizza party is rude. He encouraged the attendees to "eat all four meters (13 feet)" of pizza because it would make them grow, according to ABC.
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Later in the day, all of St. Peter's Square shouted birthday wishes up to the Bishop of Rome, as his weekly address to the faithful happened to coincide with his birthday. With the overlap, he didn't even have to worry about whether anyone would show, which is something you think you'd get over as leader of the Catholic Church, but probably not.
As you can see, the divine pizza pie was not round. It was a series of rectangular pizzas cut into rectangular slices, for which there is presumably scriptural precedent.
In the center was a single white candle, which His Holiness adorably blew out.
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