Get Paid $10,000 to Put Bacon Seasoning on All Your Food for a Month
If you eat as fast as I do, this salary is even more appetizing.
Pour one out for anyone who poured their heart into an application to spend 2020 traveling around the world in a yacht. Those aspiring Gilligans had no idea that this would be the year of sitting on your landlocked arse, sprinkling different seasonings on the five things you know how to cook, and that one vegan bacon seasoning company would go on to offer the most exciting dream job of the leap year.
Swedish food-tech start-up Raging Pig Co. just announced an opening for a "Professional Bacon-ifier" on its website. The lucky new hire's primary responsibility will be to "baconify everything you put in your mouth with Raging Pig's Vegan Bacon Seasoning" for 30 days.
While this vegan opportunity isn't as thrilling as UK-based Vibrant Vegan Co.'s "travel the world and eat tons of food" dream job from 2019, it's certainly more appropriate for the times. The Raging Pig gig is completely remote, has flexible hours, a $10,000 salary (an extra value for fast eaters) and a life-long discount on its products, so you can add another seasoning to the list of "things that make my lazy quar pasta taste like something other than store-bought tomato sauce."
Anyone around the world can apply, but that $10,000 will be paid in USD, implying a focus on Americans' conflicting vegan and bacon obsessed cultures. You can also assume from the job description and the nature of Raging Pig's product that the company is looking for someone who is forward-thinking and open to veganism/animal-activism, or else someone who can cosplay caring on social media.
Here's the form to apply. Keep in mind that "prior experience of eating food is considered beneficial but not a requirement" for the job. Just make sure to apply before August 1 -- it's super simple and should only take a few minutes. Once you've been hired, you'll be onboarded via Zoom. You'll also, apparently, receive a limited-edition cape.