If you are a decent American, the thought of even a hatless Mario causes you to blush. But in the terrible timeline we live in, some wretched soul decided to use his time on Earth create something so foul that it probably never crossed your mind as possible: a shaved Mario.
The picture above is how Mario was meant to be seen, and consider this your last chance to keep that mental image intact. Just below is the tweet from Twitter user @november17 that brought the cursed image to the masses, and brought the internet to its knees.
Viral Granny Rips Shots With Grandson, Gives Relationship Advice
Since this was posted to Twitter, instead of being immediately committed to a fireplace then buried at sea, it rapidly spread like a virus that feeds on fond memories of jumping on the heads of mushrooms. And people were horrified.
Here are a few reasonable reactions to the cursed image that will restore your faith in humanity and reassure you that we haven't devolved into a society that would allow this to happen unaddressed.
One reaction was not as understandable...
Another user somehow made the whole situation even worse.
And finally someone tried to remedy the situation, to mixed results.
Maybe let's all just meet up for a nice game of Mario Kart and pretend this never happened.
Sign up here for our daily Thrillist email and subscribe here for our YouTube channel to get your fix of the best in food/drink/fun.