When life gives you a dude wielding a freaking katana and a camera that can shoot slow motion video, what do you do? You make a beautiful slow motion video of stuff getting sliced in half with said katana, of course -- as perfectly demonstrated in a video from YouTube's CrazyRussianHacker.
We're not quite sure what the soda ever did to deserve this, but the glorious footage shows some guy's enormous blade cutting through a lineup of the thin aluminum cans in a huge fizzy explosion. Of course, it looks spectacular slowed down and almost certainly beats actually drinking the generic cola.
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Tony Merevick is Cities News Editor at Thrillist and would probably get the sword stuck in the table, or worse, if he tried this. Send news tips to firstname.lastname@example.org and follow him on Twitter @tonymerevick.