Saturday Night Live just entered the Oscars race for Worst Possible Score.
The sketch above has Kenan Thompson playing the unfortunate bartender of Donnelly's Pub & Restaurant, a Lynchian circle of hell where "last call" really means "Nightmare Time." Almost immediately, the two remaining patrons, Sheila Sovage (a redheaded Kate McKinnon) and Chubby Hunts (four-time host Charles Barkley), down their drinks and lock eyes. "Maybe you play your cards right, and you'll get to walk my red carpet," Sheila says, "unless you'd rather be my seat-filler?"
What ensues is a triumphantly gross hookup, the kind where sex positions don't mean what you think and Lady Speed Sticks and lip retractors fan the flames of attraction. These are the most desperate, primal, and oddly specific of lovers, and their union culminates in a match of tongue-only tonsil hockey that has Barkley and McKinnon totally lose it.
Here's Your First Look at Disney's Star Wars Land Saturday Night Live/YouTube
The bar encounter wouldn't be the only sketch to challenge Barkley not to break. He also came close in "Homework Hotline," which essentially had the former basketball player do his best impression of that poor C-SPAN host who has to deal with crazy prank callers. Just swap out political calls with sophomoric dick jokes... and a puppet handjob.
In short, Barkley had a weird, but very fun, night.
Sign up here for our daily Thrillist email and subscribe here for our YouTube channel to get your fix of the best in food/drink/fun.