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Christmas is two weeks away. Usually kids are excited for the holiday, but in 2017, which has been a generally batshit-crazy year, some are wondering about the legitimacy of Saint Nick's Naughty List. Take the President, for example: There are at least 19 women accusing him of sexual misconduct. Does that mean he's getting coal...? It's been a confusing kind of year, one where if you admit you did something wrong, you get in trouble, but if you deny it, you keep your job. And kids are noticing! That's what happened this weekend on Saturday Night Live, at least, when several little ones blindsided a mall Santa (Kenan Thompson) with hard-hitting questions.
"What about Roy Moore?" one kid asked. "Which list is he on?"
"It's not really a list," said Amy the Elf (Kate McKinnon). "It's more of a registry."
The unfortunate mall Santa was hoping to field light, Christmas-y requests -- think Xbox, Barbie. But most of the kids demanded answers about Al Franken, the NFL protests, the new tax bill, the opioid crisis, and Matt Lauer. One girl was feeling so overwhelmed by current events she just wanted assurance that everything was going to be OK.
"I know that things seem particularly insane right now -- like truly mind-bendingly insane -- and we've seemed to have lost all perspective on what's naughty or nice," Amy said. "But as bad as things might seem, I promise you, Jenny, it will be OK, OK?"
"Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, maybe not for another 3 years, 42 days, and 24 minutes."
Fuck. Sorry, kids.