This Moron Slices a Spray Paint Can with a Guillotine and the Result is Hilarious

Why this doofus constructed a guillotine is absolutely baffling. Why he chose to use the medieval torture device to slice a can of spray paint in half is obvious: It looks cool to see a highly pressurized aluminum can get obliterated on the chopping block. But little did our fair YouTube warrior know that the stunt would cause the can to careen straight into his private parts. His very tender and vulnerable, private parts.

As evidenced by the video’s description, the epic crotch-shot was an “incredibly painful accident,” as opposed to a very well-orchestrated act of self-punishment. In any case, look at how fast that can comes screaming toward this young man’s genitals. The dude in the video is named Aaron, and he would appreciate being included in a “hit in the balls compilation” in the near future, probably to give his parents a reason to swell with pride.

Please keep the hits coming, Aaron, you will one day realize your dreams. 

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Sam Blum is a News Staff Writer for Thrillist. He's also a martial arts and music nerd who appreciates a fine sandwich and cute dogs. Find his clips in The Guardian, Rolling Stone, The A.V. Club and Vice. He's on Twitter @Blumnessmonster.