Being a squirrel is to be a survivalist. But being a squirrel with an affinity for candy bars is to be a thieving rodent that no one likes.
That’s at least the impression we get from this convenience store in Toronto, Canada, which can’t seem to stop two furry little creatures from snaffling up all of its sweets. According to the Washington Post, these conniving little bastards have stolen nearly 50 candy bars from the family owned business -- and they’ve probably stockpiled them in some insidious squirrel-bunker deep underground.
In a helpless plea, the daughter of the store’s owners, Cindy Kim, solicited advice in the form of a Reddit thread -- because what else do you do when squirrels purloin your livelihood in the form of Crispy Crunch bars?
Kim wrote that the thieving squirrels followed a routine:
“For around a week or two, a squirrel (either the same one or maybe not) has been coming in when we are not looking, taking a chocolate bar, and dashing off. It's a different bar each time - O'Henry, Mr. Big, etc. It happens about once every 2-3 days.”
After a productive repartee with Redditors, who gave Kim suggestions for battling the kleptomaniac squirrels, the store has been written about extensively by local outlets. Kim, for her part, has been pretty unabashed about soliciting donations to combat the squirrels, taking to social media to publicize the battle:
Kim's various social media pages -- which link to a PayPal account -- exhort you to "buy a squirrel a chocolate bar."
Which sounds weird, because squirrels don't use banks or the internet.