It's no secret that the New York City subway is a relentless horror show. It's not quite the crime-infested, graffiti-splattered environment it used to be, but it's still a place where a commute overrun with hundreds of crickets might draw more shoulder shrugs than actual surprise. (Yes, we're that jaded).
During its stint filming in New York, Jimmy Kimmel Live! decided to probe the depravity of NYC's public transit system by asking Brooklynites for their craziest subway stories on Thursday night's episode. Unsurprisingly, New Yorkers dredged up some objectively horrifying and confounding imagery: One woman recounted an incident where a seemingly normal man rubbed a stick of deodorant all over his body, while an straphanger almost fondly recalled a particularly gross incident involving spilled oatmeal.