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Subway Worker Crushes Vegan's Dreams When He Explains Mayo Isn't Vegan

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As far as stringent dietary concerns go, veganism sits at or near the top. Yet, some of the proudest lifestyle vegans enjoy wearing the enlightened label on their sleeve more than actually studying the rigidity of what it means to eat zero animal products. In other words, veganism has become pretty elastic, and if you'd like to express your reverence for it by eating mostly junk food sans animal products, then go ahead

But because glaring examples of vegan ignorance are always bursting with enough schadenfreude to make the coldest hearts squeal, we now direct your attention to a Facebook post written by Subway worker Gabriel Caulfield-Bohlken. In it, Caulfield-Bohlken recounts the engrossing tale of dealing with a "vegan" customer who ordered a Veggie Delite sandwich with a touch of mayonnaise. 

As the worker writes, the woman asked for him to change his gloves, since he had been handling meat earlier. The woman quickly noted that she's "vegan" while ordering her bread and vegetables with mayonnaise for lubrication. Caulfield-Bohlken, not one to keep the poor customer in the dark, informed the woman that mayonnaise is made with egg whites, and therefore cannot factor into any bonafide vegan diet. 

The rest of the interaction, as detailed on Facebook, was awkward and emotionally trying for both parties: 

The customer was paralyzed by her lapse of basic vegan knowledge. "I felt so horrible," the Subway employee wrote. "She stood there with such a distraught and defeated face, I had shattered this poor girl's world." 

Caulfield-Bohlken acted quickly to get the woman out of line, but not before delivering the final, inevitable blow, asking her if she'd still like the mayonnaise on her sandwich. 

"Sure, go ahead," the deflated, accidental non-vegan reportedly said. 

While she's still protected by anonymity, Caulfield-Bohlken's post has been shared 44,000 times on Facebook, meaning there's a clear picture of her in many, many people's minds. 

h/tMunchies

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Sam Blum is a News Staff Writer for Thrillist. He's also a martial arts and music nerd who appreciates a fine sandwich and cute dogs. Find his clips in The Guardian, Rolling Stone, The A.V. Club and Esquire. He's on Twitter @Blumnessmonster.