T-Pain Secretly Runs a Fantastic, Hysterical Facebook Page

Generally speaking, you shouldn't take life advice from the guys who produce songs that thump in nightclubs. Sure, champagne tastes great, a Maybach will spin you around in style, and women of all walks improve life to the Nth degree. But consider the lyrics to the philosophical screed, "Booty Wurk (One Cheek at a Time)":

Jump out your car in the middle of the street
Open up the truck let the bass beat
Go ahead, go ahead,
You gotta walk up in the club barefooted

Neither jumping out of your car in the middle of the street nor going to the club barefoot are advisable activities. And yet, the man behind this R&B hit, Faheem Rashad Najm, better known as T-Pain, lives a public life full of insightful non sequiturs -- and plenty other social media posts you couldn't differentiate from your oddball uncle's.

In short, T-Pain posts frequently to Facebook, and he comes off as exceedingly normal -- but many of his off-the-cuff remarks sparkle with wit. Consider his recent musing on the joys of fine ass-wiping:
 

 

Man. Ain’t nothing like finding the perfect brand of toilet paper.

Posted by T-Pain on Thursday, February 18, 2016
 

And that's not even the best of T-Pain's prose on bodily functions. Take this one on a serious question that arises in every romantic relationship:
 

 

S/O to all my niggas that just woke up with that chick you can’t fart in front of yet

Posted by T-Pain on Thursday, February 18, 2016

You'd expect a man who croons about "shawtys" (shawties?) for a living to offer plenty of insight about dating. But that's not his sole area of expertise. Leave it up to the singer of "Buy U a Drank (Shawty Snappin')" to know a thing or two about how to prepare your body for a night out.
 

 

Night of heavy drinking? Eat a slice of cheese after every drink. The constipation will prevent the beer shits in the morning. You're welcome

Posted by T-Pain on Thursday, February 18, 2016

He'll also, at times, posts meme cards resembling those of the Fat Jew or Fuck Jerry, except, well, T-Pain isn't famous for stealing other people's jokes. He's famous for creating autotuned grooves that make girls want to dance, and everyone to get their sexytime on.
 

 

that’s not cool man #painful

Posted by T-Pain on Thursday, January 21, 2016

Of course, Facebook isn't T-Pain's only social media outlet, as he recently conducted an AMA session on Reddit, fielding dozens of questions from fans. But even cooler? Someone discovered a comment from another reddit account belonging to T-Pain that went unnoticed for a year where he expressed sincere gratitude toward redditors and the way the website had impacted his world.
 

If you don't find this set positively delightful, you damn sure don't know what delightful means.

Had he been born 40 years earlier, T-Pain likely would have been a Motown star. Instead, we get to enjoy his tales of dranking, shawtys, and Apple Bottom jeans today. And in kind, that also lets us enjoy his social media presence -- a thing not even the great Berry Gordy could have ever predicted.

What I'm saying is, next time you're in New York, how about I buy you a drank, T-Pain?

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Ryan Craggs is Thrillist's Senior News Editor. He's shameless, but truly enjoys T-Pain. Plus, this worked for his friend Lee. Follow him @ryanrcraggs.