Unfortunately, though it's a great deal and would be a decent spot to rent if you're visiting New York -- the price alone makes it worthwhile -- it's totally booked.
But that's okay. They don't want you to have any fun in there anyhow. No hot boxing their above-ground sewer and no turning H-O-R-S-E into a drinking game. The listing states, "We say no to drugs and alcohol, so none of that in the Lair."
It continues: "You can have a couple friends drop by to check out the Lair, but Splinter says the upstairs bedrooms are off limits. Don't even think about inviting more overnight guests! We have neighbors too so keep it chill...try not to bring the ruckus!"
They're greasy turtles who subsist on pizza, live a sewer, and have a roommate that's a rat, but they're not running a flophouse, you animal.
Check out more photos of the space below. The short-term listing is a promotion for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows, which will be released June 3, 2016. The listing will only be available for a very limited time.