The "How To" Questions Each State Googles More Than Every Other State

Back in the 20th century stone age, people had no internet. Left to their own devices, humans had to seek intellectual enrichment at their local public library, and learned how to do things without the aid of computer algorithms and the world wide web.

Now, when curious about how to register to vote or how to grow marijuana, people turn to Google. Estately’s newest map shows the most common “How To” searches across the United States -- and they’re telling of the deeply guarded and weird things people really wish they knew how to do, like twerking.

Most of these queries pertain to big, resounding questions: For Texans, it’s “How to sell your soul,” and in Illinois, “How to sell Beanie Babies” is a predominant concern. The American southwest seems preoccupied with things of a conspiratorial bent, given that Nevada would like to know “How to survive a zombie apocalypse,” and Arizona asks “How to join the Illuminati.”

Estately notes its map doesn’t show the most prominent Google searches in each state, but rather “it simply shows the searches each state Googles more frequently than the other 49 states and the District of Columbia.”

Still, the data provides a solid foundation for what matters most to whom -- the people of Alabama are interested in “How to make love,” for instance -- so consider this a bit of insight into our strange national psyche.

Estately

A complete list of the most common “How to” searches in America are below:

ALABAMA:  How to draw a dog? / How to install laminate flooring? / How to play chess? / How to learn Spanish? / How to make love?

ALASKA:  How to fish?

ARIZONA:  How to make horchata? / How to use Skype? / How to call Mexico? / How to become a notary? / How to become a pilot? / How to fix a running toilet? / How to get skinny? / How to sell a house? / How to day drink? / How to join the Illuminati?

ARKANSAS:  How to add fractions? / How to evolve Pokemon? / How to get rid of moles? / How to get rid of lice? / How to hack? / How to make cheese? / How to lower blood pressure? (tie w/ Mississippi) / How to make money? / How to reset iPhone? / How to be healthy? / How to come out?

CALIFORNIA:  How to play “Stairway to Heaven”? / How to scare someone? / How to destroy a hard drive? / How to iron on patches? / How to play Dungeons and Dragons? / How to use dropbox? / How to use Github? / How to drive stick? / How to rig an election? / How to use hashtags? / How to use Reddit? / How to ruin everything? / How to spot a narcissist? / How to draw a circle? / How to build a time machine? / How to be a good boyfriend? / How to be a badass? / How to be a bartender? / How to be charming? / How to be good at math? / How to teleport? / How to be humble? / How to be invisible? / How to be vegan? / How to be rich? / How to stop global warming? / How to get your life together? / How to be an Uber driver? / How to convert to Islam? / How to join the KKK? / How to Crip Walk? / How to create change? / How to start a revolution? / How to jump rope? / How to troll? / How to get onWheel of Fortune?

COLORADO:  How to play backgammon? / How to grow marijuana? / How to compost? (tie w/Washington)

CONNECTICUT:  How to be pretty?

DELAWARE:  How to get away with murder?

DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA:  How to negotiate salary (tie w/ Massachusetts) / How to tie a Windsor knot? / How to use Uber? / How to use Apple Pay? / How to use chopsticks?

FLORIDA:  How to keep a man? / How to use Facebook Live? / How to be gay? (tie w/ Texas) / How to be more social? / How to do magic? / How to belly dance? / How to make money as a teenager? / How to donate blood? / How to become a lawyer? / How to get Obamacare? / How to get on The Voice? / How to change the world? / How to make jewelry? / How to break a lease? / How to get out of Florida?

GEORGIA:  How to hotwire a car? / How to get rid of herpes? / How to crack a safe? / How to bleach jeans? / How to be a good girlfriend? / How to be a man? / How to be a woman? / How to get a divorce? / How to be kind? / How to be successful? / How to become a porn star? / How to become a stripper? / How to get food stamps? / How to make alcohol? / How to make meth? / How to grow up? / How to make love to a woman?

HAWAII: How to divide fractions? / How to get rid of acne (tie w/ Nevada) / How to invest? / How to be a ninja? / How to swim?

IDAHO:  How to address a letter? / How to cook quinoa? (tie w/ Vermont) / How to cook rice? / How to draw? / How to register to vote?

ILLINOIS:  How to jump a car? / How to be a superhero? / How to ask someone to prom? / How to sell Beanie Babies?

INDIANA:  How to vote for Trump? / How to tie dye? / How to be popular? / How to be president? / How to Google something? / How to be different? / How to plan a wedding? / How to be free?

IOWA:  How to screenshot? / How to throw a curveball / How to make Jello shots?

KANSAS:  How to find Kansas?

KENTUCKY:  How to grow a beard? / How to quit smoking? / How to talk dirty? / How to be a cop? / How to make a baby? / How to get a dog? / How to hunt? / How to get down? / How to make dumplings? / How to pass a drug test? (tie w/ Tennessee)

LOUISIANA:  How to get rid of rats? / How to jailbreak? / How to jailbreak iPhone? / How to make bath bombs? / How to make goo? / How to pickle eggs? / How to dunk? / How to pray? / How to do the Harlem Shake? / How to play dominoes? / How to levitate?

MAINE:  How to get rid of fruit flies? / How to knit? / How to use a compass?

MARYLAND:  How to crab?

MASSACHUSETTS:  How to quit your job? / How to use Tide Pods? / How to delete Tinder? / How to make donuts?

MICHIGAN:  How to make elephant ears? / How to make beer? / How to quit drinking? / How to make a bong? / How to be a better person? / How to get unemployment? / How to make Jello?

MINNESOTA:  How to quit a job? / How to quilt?

MISSISSIPPI:   How to twerk? / How to lose belly fat? / How to lower blood pressure? (tie w/ Arkansas) / How to gain weight? / How to roll a blunt? / How to make a bomb? / How to get pregnant? / How to act? / How to get a job? / How to grow weed? / How to sew? / How to find god?

MISSOURI:  How to raise chickens?

MONTANA:  How to hard boil eggs?

NEBRASKA: How to quit smoking weed? / How to be gluten free? / How to join ISIS? / How to declare bankruptcy? / How to fly a plane?

NEVADA:  How to get rid of acne (tie w/ Hawaii) / How to install Kodi? / How to make French toast / How to open a locker? / How to be a heartbreaker? / How to cure a hangover? / How to survive a zombie apocalypse? / How to buy a gun? / How to fight?

NEW HAMPSHIRE:  How to fall asleep? / How to use Twitter? / How to tip cows?

NEW JERSEY:  How to activate iPhone? / How to stop Trump? / How to rob a bank? / How to iron a shirt? / How to open a jar? / How to be funny? / How to beatbox? / How to deal with anger? / How to hoverboard? / How to become famous? / How to be confident? / How to get ripped? / How to juggle? / How to make it in America? / How to control anxiety?

NEW MEXICO:  How to draw a rose? / How to be emo? / How to ask a girl out? / How to put on a condom?

NEW YORK:  How to ask for a raise? / How to give yourself a hickey? / How to use Bitcoin? / How to use dry shampoo? / How to use Tinder? / How to live forever? / How to be a boss? / How to be good in bed? / How to stop being a loser? / How to stop being lazy? / How to explain mansplaining? / How to get revenge?

NORTH CAROLINA:  How to run for president? / How to be awesome? / How to be cool? / How to be normal? / How to get Viagra? / How to play angry birds? / How to make money blogging? / How to do CPR? / How to learn French? / How to plant a garden?

NORTH DAKOTA:  How to boil eggs? / How to get a passport?

OHIO:  How to get rid of raccoons? / How to overclock CPU? / How to tell if someone likes you? / How to spray tan? / How to impeach a president? / How to prevent kidney stones? / How to ask a boy out? / How to pay off student loans? / How to ask someone to homecoming? / How to make memes? / How to make fire? / How to buy a home?

OKLAHOMA:  How to eat fried worms? / How to whistle? / How to smoke ribs? / How to sext?

OREGON:  How to hack wifi? / How to make floral arrangements?

PENNSYLVANIA:  How to use Pinterest? / How to get a cat? / How to make Halloween costumes? / How to get drunk? / How to defeat ISIS? / How to buy a condo? / How to write a novel?

RHODE ISLAND:  How to make money selling drugs? / How to roll a joint? / How to screenshot on Mac? / How to screenshot on a PC? / How to make an igloo?

SOUTH CAROLINA:  How to get rid of cockroaches? / How to improve credit score? / How to tie a bowtie? / How to be yourself?

SOUTH DAKOTA:  How to be single? / How to make slime? / How to tie a tie? / How to use snapchat?

TENNESSEE:  How to make extra money? / How to use Facebook? / How to get on TV? / How to grow tomatoes? / How to pass a drug test? (tie w/ Kentucky)

TEXAS:  How to bathe a cat? / How to get bigger lips? / How to spell 40? / How to spell 90? / How to get rid of bedbugs? / How to make gak? / How to use bronzer? / How to be romantic? / How to make a pipe bomb? / How to hold a baby? / How to grow a beard fast? / How to be a better wife? / How to be a better husband? / How to be gay? (tie w/ Florida) / How to become a Jedi? / How to be on top? / How to be valedictorian? / How to play clarinet? / How to graduate high school? / How to read minds? / How to sell your soul? / How to clean a gun?

UTAH:  How to attack in Pokemon Go? / How to catch Pokemon? / How to edit a PDF? / How to kiss? / How to make friends? / How to register to vote online? / How to start a blog? / How to train your dragon? / How to tell if a girl likes you? / How to tell if a boy likes you? / How to tie a noose? / How to use Excel? / How to be happy? / How to fix a zipper? / How to orgasm? / How to win friends and influence people? / How to dance? / How to camp? / How to make paper? / How to flirt? / How to sell a house?

VERMONT:  How to cook quinoa? (tie w/ Idaho) / How to kayak? / How to move to Canada?

VIRGINIA:  How to propose? / How to irritate people?

WASHINGTON:  How to bake salmon? / How to cook a wolf? / How to use a french press? / How to eat a fig? / How to be hot? / How to dab? / How to make hard cider? / How to compost? (tie w/ Colorado) / How to survive an earthquake?

WEST VIRGINIA:  How to French braid? / How to get rid of fleas? / How to get rid of ants? / How to lose weight? / How to last longer in bed / How to play Pokemon? / How to make money online? / How to make money fast? / How to play guitar? / How to delete Facebook? / How to make moonshine?

WISCONSIN:  How to impeach a governor? / How to farm? / How to retire?

WYOMING:  How to battle in Pokemon Go? / How to play Pokemon Go?

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Sam Blum is a News Staff Writer for Thrillist. He's also a martial arts and music nerd who appreciates a fine sandwich and cute dogs. Find his clips in The Guardian, Rolling Stone, The A.V. Club and Vice. He's on Twitter @Blumnessmonster.