The show: This Is Us
If anybody asks you what this show is about, just tell them “Life, man… life.” Or maybe “Family.” But officially, it’s about a bunch of people who share a birthday. Anyway, it’s really good, and you’ll probably enjoy it after it’s done tearing out your heart with comedic drama.
The moment: There is no hope left in 2017
Remember last month when you worried about Kate taking care of herself, but it turned out great, because it was all due to pregnancy? You were like, “Ahhhh, show, you had me going! What a great reveal!” Well she lost the child, because America has no future and a very sorrowful present. It’s all a metaphor, and just… let’s all eat chocolate and stay indoors until this decade is over.