Sometimes you just want to snuggle. If you’re alone, this can be troublesome, because you’ll likely clutch a pillow while slowly drifting into a lucid slumber. But for those of us who don’t have the comfort of spooning a loved one during the evening’s darkest hours, there’s the SpoonFool pillow, which conveniently looks like a giant penis.
Hear us out. The SpoonFool is an ideal sleeping companion: It’s large enough to cradle while sleeping on your side, and it's 100% hypoallergenic. The only caveat is its resemblance to a giant schlong, and the thought of cozying up to such a gargantuan piece of male anatomy might not be for everyone.
Aside from its use as sleep aid, the SpoonFool is great for inconspicuously loitering on park benches -- as noted in images on the product's website.
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You can also hoist it above your head in a triumphant sort of way, celebrating all that great sleep you’ve been getting. Scream its name from humble rooftops far and wide (note: people might assume you’re yelling at them about the huge, upholstered dick in your hands.)
The penis pillow SpoonFool is $150 -- yes, you can’t share a bed with a giant dong you ordered off the internet for much less these days -- so please do apportion your funds accordingly. While you're at it, you might want to throw in this $250 lube dispenser. It's the holidays after all, and you should treat yourself.
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Sam Blum is a News Staff Writer for Thrillist. He's also a martial arts and music nerd who appreciates a fine sandwich and cute dogs. Find his clips in The Guardian, Rolling Stone, The A.V. Club and Vice. He's on Twitter @Blumnessmonster.