If you've ever subjected your body to a beer mile race -- easily one of the world's ultimate tests of physical and emotional endurance -- you might want to contact Elvira Montes for some pointers. The 81-year-old grandmother of three was, not only the oldest person to finish during the 2015 FloTrack Beer Mile World Championships in Austin, Texas on Tuesday night, but also outran her daughter and son-in-law, according to a report by Runner's World. Needless to say, she's a freaking hero.
In case you were wondering, a beer mile is almost exactly what it sounds like: participants slurp down a 12oz beer and run a quarter-mile lap on a track -- four times. It is, not only a test of your ability to chug several beers and run a whole mile in a short period of time, but also a challenge to keep the sudsy stuff down.
While the beer mile world champions crossed the finish line in a cloud of sweat and suds faster than you can pour a beer and drink it, Montes finished the race with a damn impressive time of just 20 minutes and 24 seconds -- 50 seconds faster than her 47-year-old daughter. She admittedly doesn't even like beer, but pounded four bottles of KCCO Gold Lager from Resignation Brewery, according to the report.
The race marked Montes' second beer run, having participated in the same event last year. Next year, she plans to break 20 minutes and said she can improve by drinking her beer faster.
“I should have been a little faster,” Montes told the magazine. “I tried to drink the first one really fast but I couldn’t. The second one went down really smooth; the third, even better. The fourth was alright.”
But Mondes didn't stop being a badass on the track. After the race, she took her daughter to Hooters, where they celebrated with chicken wings and scotch. Basically, it's time to start rethinking your life goals, guys.
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Tony Merevick is Cities News Editor at Thrillist and would, without any doubt, hurl all over the place. Send news tips to email@example.com and follow him on Twitter @tonymerevick.