Move over, Lil Bub. There's a new cat in town, and he's got a serious thirst. After accidentally being trapped in his neighbor's wine cellar for seven weeks, a German cat named Aljosha (rolls right off the tongue, right?) totally tied one on by drinking three bottles of wine valued at around $40 each. Yeah, okay, Aljosha; sounds suspiciously similar to the time I accidentally got locked in my parent's liquor cabinet.
"He was more dead than alive when I picked him up," said his owner, the extremely German-sounding Claudia von Büren on the extremely German-sounding website Bild.de. After being diagnosed with alcohol poisoning, poor little Aljosha went to the vet, spent three days in recovery, and is now apparently feeling a hell of a lot better.
When asked to comment on the situation, Aliosha couldn't comprehend what was going on, because he is a feline and doesn't have the cognitive capacity of human beings. But, I don't speak German, so maybe that's the source of the problem.