At this point in your life, there's really no wrong time of day or place to enjoy an everything bagel. But in the event that you find yourself without the iconic bread ring, Trader Joe's recently introduced an everything bagel seasoning that'll make other foods "everything," too. Maybe TJ's isn't such a "living hellscape" after all.
It's aptly called the Everything But the Bagel Sesame Seasoning Blend and, basically, it's all the stuff that falls onto your shirt, lap, counter, floor when you eat an everything bagel, but conveniently bottled. Trader Joe's describes the seasoning as a "simple (yet exemplary) blend of sesame seeds (white and black), poppy seeds, dried garlic & onion, and sea salt flakes" that's perfect for adding a savory flavor to grilled chicken, baked potatoes, buttered popcorn, dips, pastas, pizza dough, and several other foods. One bottle will set you back $1.99.