There are certain workplace rules that are infallible. For instance, you can't go into the communal fridge in your office and purloin someone's lunch. That's theft, in addition to total sacrilege.
So it comes as no surprise that when Zak Tosacni, a comedian and writer based in Los Angeles, became party to an episode of office lunch theft so blatantly cruel and ruthless, he documented the breathless turn of events on Twitter. His thread captivated the internet on Friday, largely owing to its granular rundown and attention to detail.
It involves fried rice, a trash can, tarnished hopes and a cliffhanger that could portend possible retribution.
Zak, take it away:
These Are the 7 Best Jim Pranks From 'The Office,' Ranked
This saga is enough to rival the likes of #UberBae for the award of most gripping Twitter thread. While it might seem like the work of a fantasist sitting alone at his desk while bored at work, Toscani says the events are 100% accurate as presented.
He told Thrillist in an email:
"I can confirm that it is true and the only exaggeration was that it took place last week but we were so slammed at work that I couldn’t document it until yesterday and today. Everything else is scarily true."
This is all to say that it might be a good time to consider getting a padlock for your next oder of takeout. And that you probably can't trust your co-workers.
Sign up here for our daily Thrillist email and subscribe here for our YouTube channel to get your fix of the best in food/drink/fun.