You deserve a trip. We're absolutely sure of it. Maybe it's a trip home, or a trip away, but we're sure that the weather or your job or that neighbor who's constantly playing trumpet in the apartment above you means you're ready to be anywhere else. And luckily for you, United just launched a sale on Thursday that will get you somewhere else on the cheap. (Possibly in response to Southwest's own huge sale?) So, let the tyranny of those shrill scales ruin someone else's life for a while and get going.
If you book by August 16, you'll be able to get one-way flights for as low as $52. Head to the official sale page to check out all the options for flights near you, but it looks like this mostly applies to Boston, Cleveland, Chicago, Denver, Houston, San Diego, and Washington, DC.
The cheapest fares are Chicago to Cincinnati for $52 and Cleveland to Milwaukee for $52, but if you're willing to shell out more than a night on the town for a plane ticket, you can also find deals like Denver to Albuquerque for $69 or Chicago to New York for $73. Definitely spend some time on the sale page though and see what's available. There are flights above $100 that are still really solid deals.
Keep in mind, though, that there are some restrictions. These trips can only happen between August 23 and February 13, and these fares only apply to travel on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Saturday, plus there are some blackout dates. These prices are all for "Basic Economy" fares, which mean you'll get one small personal item and have to pay for any baggage beyond that. That being said, it's still a great deal, and you're being fun and spontaneous, remember?
So, call your most fun friend and get going. Your noisy neighbors will still be there when you get back.