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USA Today Put Out a Guide to How the Teens Talk and It Is Not Lit

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The circle of life has nothing to do with one's maturation and eventual acceptance of death, fam ("fam = the friends you are closest with"). The circle of life is 1) teens coming up with super-cool ways to describe banal things, 2) parents sucking the life from those wonderful phrases by using/even understanding them, and 3) teens coming up with new jargon. Unfortunately, we have just reentered the second phase. 

We were brought here by USA Today, which published a comprehensive glossary of the way the teens talk last week. And, it is not lit ("lit = cool, awesome, great"). So, young folks, prepare for a lot of cringey ("cringey = awkward, uncomfortable, cringe-worthy") conversations with the olds.

THB (TBH = to be honest), it's pretty horrifying seeing it written out.

That isn't to say the article isn't interesting and informative. The paper brings in communication experts, discusses cultural appropriation and the origins of slang, and interviews some youths themselves. But this glossary is a force of sheer evil in the world and will have repercussions for generations. 

If you're looking for some real news, the tea ("tea = gossip") here is that all these words are canceled ("canceled = done, deleted, finished, blocked on social media).

Naturally, Twitter made its concern/confusion/displeasure known. 

No shade ("shade = trash talk") intended here. We're dead ass ("Dead A-- = to be completely and honestly serious") shook ("shook = shocked, upset").

Okay, just one more: "thicc = voluptuous, curvy body (usually a compliment)."

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James Chrisman is a News Writer at Thrillist. Send news tips to news@thrillist.com and follow him on Twitter @james_chrisman2.