It went down in the DM.
A Michigan resident with an outstanding warrant for his arrest recently messaged the Redford Township Police Department via Facebook, betting that it wouldn't get 1,000 shares on its next post. If that quota was met, he claimed he'd turn himself in with a box of donuts in tow. And, however improbably, this week he made good on his word.
Michael Zayden, aka Champagne Torino on Facebook, had been carrying out what might be the boldest trolling campaign in the internet's history: Despite his outstanding warrants, Zayden repeatedly commented on the department's public Facebook posts with incisive taunts like, "You guys suck!" -- an actual sentence he left on a post notifying the Redford community of a home invasion. This grade-school bullying was naturally met with threats to block him; it's an all too familiar story. You or your loved ones probably have similar ones.
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But things really took a turn for the bizarre (read: asinine) when Zaydel, unprovoked, upped the ante and promised that if the department's next post received 1,000 shares, he'd turn himself in and bring a dozen donuts with him. The department then posted a screenshot of his DM to their page along with a hilarious plea to the community for its cooperation.
"He promised us donuts! You know how much we love Donuts!" the post said. "Help us win this challenge and clean up blght [sic] in Redford at the same time! It's as easy as a SHARE of this post."
The community promptly alley-ooped the perp into the cold iron hoop of justice. The post was shared 1,000 times within the hour and has more than 4,000 shares to date.
Look, maybe he's not the smartest perp in the cell block, but Zaydel is definitely a man of his word. Around 6:30pm on Monday, Mr. Champagne Torino walked into the station holding a box of donuts and a bonus bagel (for some reason).
One assumes he learned some kind of lesson, but who can says what it was. Nothing is stronger than community? Don't taunt police via social media? Stay out of DMs?
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