For international heart throb and GQ cover star Robert Pattinson, the quest to sate one's craving for a New York City hotdog conjures more than a fair bit of anxiety. In a satirical video directed and starred in by the Twilight star to promote his cover story in the magazine, Pattinson embarks on a frenetic mission to find a hot dog, skirting the flashing lights of paparazzi and battling his own destructive inner-dialogue.
Staring solemnly out the window of his luxury hotel room, which he calls his "fortress of solitude," the actor's stomach starts to growl. He rummages through a variety of inedible items in his hotel room as a hungry panic starts to ensue. Faced with the dilemma of traversing Manhattan's East Village, teeming with pre-teens and the giddy excitement of fans, Pattinson dawns a disguise, declaring in a macabre tone: "This city is a labyrinth meant to destroy me." (Yes, Robert, good to see you're coming to understand New York).
Motivated only by the sweet prospect of devouring processed beef, the actor walks frantically through the neighborhood before finally cowering beside a tree and hailing an Uber. From the confines of the luxury vehicle, Pattinson touches the windows delicately and thinks to himself: "I'm going to die."
Luckily his anxiety was all for nought, because he eventually happens upon one the city's preeminent hot dog institutions, Papaya Dog on St. Mark's Place. Extreme close-ups of the star shoveling a Papaya Dog into his gullet are enough to induce some squirming, but still, the video is undeniably hilarious and an indication that a hot dog can occasionally stave off an existential meltdown.