Wedding planners can experience a special kind of hell at work that many of us don't ever have to go through. And while there are surely some wonderful parts of the job, it can range from exhausting to a Lynchian nightmare. People can be tough even for the best of wedding planners, just ask Franck Eggelhoffer.
That's why a recent Reddit thread of wedding planner horror stories (and horror stories from others working in and around weddings) is like the proverbial car accident you can't take your eyes off. Here are a few of the highlights from some of the thread's crazier stories.
Who Picked These Chairs?!
"I had a mother-in-law zilla one time, who, after seeing and approving of the chairs that we provided, caused a scene of epic proportions after she decided that the chairs weren't good enough anymore. The bride was sobbing by the end of it, being consoled by monster-in-law who simply kept telling her, 'It'll be alright, even though everything is ruined by these GREEN chairs.'" - @okistheplacetobe
This Guy Totally Did Something to Deserve This
It's Not Karaoke Night
"At another one of the weddings I helped at when I first started, we had a 'dadzilla.' He was the father of the bride and he was a drunk. Toward the end of the evening he asked that I play "I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston (no, they didn't have a DJ, I was using my phone hooked up to our ancient sound system to play music for their reception). I obliged and he decided that he wanted to sing along. Whatever. Well, my coworker who had taken over in between my predecessor leaving and me starting decided to unplug the mic because he was, in her words, killing the song. I didn't care one way or the other, it was no skin off my nose if he wanted to warble along, but whatever, she cut off maybe the last 30 seconds of the song. Cue months of angry phone calls and demands of a refund because she ruined his daughter's wedding. This in spite of the fact that his daughter had both warned us about him and apologized to us for him. He showed up one day to pick up the remainder of a few decorations they had left behind and claimed that my boss was supposed to have left a $450 check for him and wouldn't leave until we paid him. I had to deal with this guy harassing me for money for probably 45 minutes before he finally gave up and left, claiming that he was going 'straight to the courthouse' to sue us in small claims court. We haven't heard anything since then--he was probably put off by filing fees, would be my guess--but my husband still asks for 'microphone guy' updates every once in a while and I sincerely hope that I won't have any more to give!" — @measureinlove
Whatever, Blue Cheese Dressing is Too Chunky
"We had a groom come to his tasting, which consisted of the least expensive (but still quite nice) menu. He immediately declared that one salad dressing was 'too runny' (ranch) while the other was 'too thick' (blue cheese) and it only went downhill from there. He argued about everything from the shade of the napkins to the temperature of the room. His fiancee did not care about a single thing.
We had one groom who was an hour late. His bride laid down on the floor, pulled the back of her dress over her head, and started singing nursery rhymes to herself until he could be located.
Another time the venue had been booked for the reception only - ceremony off-site. Nobody arrived at the booked time. Three hours later, my catering manager is about to order everyone to pack up, but the groom miraculously called and said they were on the way. Later the photographer told me he had been 3 hours late to the ceremony. He hadn't even picked up his tux until 2 hours after the scheduled start time and they still had no idea where he had been the whole time. The poor bride was 6 months pregnant and puking the whole time." — @bebmochi
Yelp Is Not a Weapon
Know When To Give Up
Geometry Is Not An Excuse
It's an Emotional Day
"Made an account for this. We've had quite a few bridezillas and MILzillas over the years.
During the first dance between the bride and groom, the MIL began crying and cut between the two of them, danced with her son for a moment, and then sank down to her knees. She gradually kept moving down until her face was on the floor. When her husband and the bride's father went over to get her up, she was a blubbering mess; mascara like wild tree roots across her cheeks, snotty nose, red eyes, quivering double chin...the works. It was painful to watch.
Bride wasn't happy with her husband-to-be's vows, so she requested a 'time out' in order for him to go to the back room and come up with better ones. When the guy marrying them politely explained that he was on a very tight schedule, she called him a 'lying bastard' and huffed back up the aisle into the room. We kept everyone else seated, and she appeared a few minutes later with freshly written vows for her future husband. He read them, and the wedding continued as planned. Again, uncomfortable.
It's rare that we get a groomzilla, but one in particular stands out. The groom wasn't happy with anything. The bride had her heart set on white roses, but he said he didn't like roses, so he requested sunflowers and white chrysanthemums. When we presented him with an example display of sunflowers and chrysanthemums, he said he didn't like that either and requested another two or three separate types before finally settling on a bunch of plain peonies. He did the same sort of thing with the food, music, entertainment, ignoring the fact that we have deadlines to meet. The bride had zero say and didn't try to fight him on it.
For all the shitty ones though, there have been some absolutely wonderful ones."— @lindtbunnies
Allergic to Bad Planning
The next time you see a wedding planner, offer them a hug. They put up with a lot.