No One Can Agree on Proper Window Seat Airplane Bathroom Etiquette
A Reddit thread recently ignited the debate.
You've made it—you've successfully checked your bags without paying additional fees, you've survived through security, and you even managed to find a spot for your carry-on in the plane's overhead bins. You're all set—or, are you?
Depending on where you're sitting, actually, your troubles might just be starting and last the entire duration of the flight. We've all been there: Whether you're sitting on the aisle, middle, or window seat, everybody is facing the same issue, a.k.a. figuring out what's good and proper bathroom etiquette. To put it simply, when is it actually okay to have an entire row stand up, and when is it considered rude to do so?
The internet, as per usual, is divided. On a new Reddit thread tackling this very subject specifically from a window seat perspective, opinions seem to go different ways. Some people adopted the "live and let live" mentality, but sprinkled it with a dash of consideration for your fellow travelers. Basically, don't be afraid to listen to your body, but when you can, try and take your neighbors into account.
"If either the middle or aisle seat gets up to use the restroom and you can/need go to the bathroom, I'd suggest going just bc it's easier for everyone in the row," writes one user, who defines themselves as a frequent flyer. "That being said, don't hold it just because you don't want to inconvenience the other two people. If you gotta go, you gotta go."
Trying and going when the rest of the row gets up seems to be one of the main pieces of advice given by those who care about the others' wellbeing. But some just don't—or seem not to. To the former comment, another user pointed out that yes, you should listen to your body, but there are some basic social cues you might want to be aware of.
"That said, if aisle seat [and] middle seat get up, and then you wait until 10 minutes after they both sit back down to want to get up you're going to get some [looks]," they said. Someone else couldn't care less. "So what," replied a Redditor. "You need to go when you need to go."
Whether you care or not about being perceived as an a-hole, that's your prerogative, but making someone's life easier or, at the very least, more pleasant is something you might want to keep in mind. At the end of the day, nobody wants to be inside this tin can flying 30,000 feet in the air, and we all just want to get to our destination. So yes, definitely think about your own needs, but try and work with those of other travelers, too—it's not that hard!
The worst is when you have to use the bathroom and the fellow passengers next to you are sleeping. Shockingly enough, Reddit seems to suggest there are ways to succeed in your mission without feeling too bad. One Redditor, for example, outlined a very detailed approach to ask the aisle or middle seat person to get up, which involves different degrees and stages of either communication or considerate behavior.
"1. First say excuse me see if you can wake them up verbally (this almost never works) 2. Place your hand on their upper arm, allow the weight of your hand to fall on their arm and just hold it there for the count of 5 (90% of the time that does the [trick]) 3. If that doesn't work start patting/tapping them on the shoulder (only had that fail once) 4. Last resort is to take them by the shoulder and gently shake them. 5. If that doesn't work, call the FA and ask them to do it for you."
Or channel your inner Spider-Man and climb over people—which apparently, is an oddly common practice. "One time the aisle seat was asleep and [the] guy in the middle just climbed out over her," reads a comment. "Like a regular Spider-Man move then came back and did the same. She never moved." Another person proudly chimed in: "I did that once-I was at the window, middle guy was asleep on his tray table, guy on the aisle got up so I could climb over him," they said. "Helps to be a tiny former gymnast though."
Among the many people arguing in favor of following bathroom etiquette are those singing the tray and trash anthem. If your neighbor just got something to eat or drink, or even if they're finished with their food and bevs but still have remnants of it on their tray, it is good practice to wait for a flight attendant to collect that before you ask them to get up and make space for you.
"The only thing I would add is to please try not to go when everyone has stuff on their tray table and the flight attendant hasn't come to collect the [meal] trays/trash," notes one comment. "I had this happen to me recently (literally as soon as we got our drinks and I had to juggle a bunch of open cups) and did not appreciate it."
Although being nice and considerate is a good thing, rest assured that there are many aisle seat passengers who truly don't mind if you have to go—and that's usually because they flaunt a good degree of empathy. On the thread, some users claim that they will always understand if someone has to go to the bathroom, and it will never really bother them if they're asked to get up. Some people even encourage you to do it, lest you get a disease out of it. "I sometimes get stuck on the outside seat and honestly if you got to go please go," says one Redditor. "Me personally I'd rather you not risk a uti or sit there for hours on end till I wake. But that's just me."
Here's what I'll say. Everybody is right—yes, you're right that you can't put a timer on your bladder, and you're also right if you expect some basic courtesy if someone is asking you to make room so they can get up. This is why I, personally, plan in advance, and try to make my own experience a little easier.
On long flights, I am a forever devout lover of the aisle seat, because it allows me to stretch my legs and also to get up whenever I please without bothering anyone. Here's my trick: I'll look up the plane's layout, and, if possible, choose an aisle seat on a four-seat row rather than a three-seat row (usually, those are the two options on long flights). Sometimes, there are also two-seat rows, but those are less common on such flights.
The reason is simple: a four-seat row sits in the middle of the plane, which means that it features two aisle seats at its ends and two middle seats. If I get one of the two aisle seats, the only person who could ask me to get up is the one sitting right next to me, as the other will likely ask the other aisle passenger to make room for them. On a three-seat row, instead, there is usually only one aisle seat, and the other two are for a middle seat and a window seat, which means that there is only one way out. See where I'm going with this? You’re welcome for the tip.
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