News

Watch This Sex Shop Worker Fight off an Armed Robber with a Dildo

Published On 12/16/2016 Published On 12/16/2016

Committing an armed robbery is a bad idea. Committing an armed robbery at this particular sex shop in San Bernardino, CA is an exercise in futility, because the store’s clerks will fend you off with dildos, and embarrassingly.

ABC reports on an attempted robbery at Lotions & Lace, which saw a store worker named “Amy” stare down the barrel of a presumably loaded gun. Amy offered no hesitation though, and immediately started barking at the assailant while clasping a big, menacing dildo. Luckily, the robber was a big turkey, and slowly skulked out of the sex shop empty-handed. The whole thing was caught on a store surveillance camera and put on the internet, where it deserves to be celebrated like the human-triumph that it is.

According to the report, Amy -- who is incredibly tough and seems really cool -- was convinced the gun was fake. Another employee grabbed some sex toys and started hurling them at the gunman while Amy screamed in his face, making the situation very uncomfortable for the masked intruder.

“With the gun, he walked in. I just thought he was trying to be funny, to scare us," Amy told ABC. "But then I saw the gun and it was like, really? I don't have time for this."

And she clearly didn’t. Amy held down the fortress like a boss, but the suspect is still at large, perhaps wielding a water pistol at a petting zoo.
 

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Sam Blum is a News Staff Writer for Thrillist. He's also a martial arts and music nerd who appreciates a fine sandwich and cute dogs. Find his clips in The Guardian, Rolling Stone, The A.V. Club and Vice. He's on Twitter @Blumnessmonster

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