Since you were probably busy burning your hands off after reading about all the subway bacteria and re-watching Jimmy Fallon's Saved by the Bell reunion skit a hundred times, we gathered up all the news you may have missed and made it really easy for you to not sound dumb when talking to your friends.
Here are some headlines and news stories you can enthusiastically interject in a conversation:
A new restaurant, dedicated to pretty much our favorite thing in the world, is coming to NYC. It's called BEC (ooooo, I wonder what that stands for!) and it'll be serving all kinds of breakfast sandwiches -- and only breakfast sandwiches. READ MORE
Construction is slated to begin next month in Staten Island on what is expected to be the tallest ferris wheel in the world, developers of the project announced Monday. READ MORE
There's been a series of manhole cover explosions in Brooklyn, and another manhole fire in Queens wreaked havoc. All of this and ice shards are falling from the World Trade Center. Great. Just great. READ MORE
The bagel shop that brought us the game-changing hybrid of an incredible NY bagel and the crispier, wood-fired Montreal-style bagel is expanding to a second location late this Spring in the East Village. READ MORE
Babka, but with the fluffiness of donuts. READ MORE via Grub Street
For the first time in over a century, bald eagles are nesting in NYC, according to a report by the National Audubon Society, thereby making our city even more American than that time we got pumpkin spice latte burgers. READ MORE
That's a whole lot of condoms, possibly left by an incredibly optimistic bus traveller. Are they yours?? READ MORE
Researchers found genetic material from 15,152 different species, and luckily, most of them are apparently harmless. READ MORE via The Wall Street Journal
In case you didn't have enough reasons to not use a selfie-stick -- you know, like looking like someone who uses a selfie-stick -- some NYC museums are making the choice easier for you by banning them. READ MORE
It's located in the Long Island Sound, not too far from the city. READ MORE via Scouting New York
First Lady Michelle Obama and First Daughter No. 1 Malia Obama were seen apparently checking out some of NYC's top schools Friday. READ MORE
Tony Merevick is Cities News Editor at Thrillist and a lot of stuff scared the crap out of him this week. Might just huddle at home with a nice breakfast sandwich or babka-donut hybrid, or something. Follow him on Twitter @tonymerevick.