The MTA is the cruel, soulless bureaucracy that jacks up your subway fares, can't deal with crowds even though everyone else does, and sorta-robs you for sport & profit. You should hate the MTA. But you should also, apparently, pity the MTA, because it has to censor "risque" ads to cater to prude, whiney, pearl-clutching riders, who have almost certainly never been kissed. And that's just gotta be terrible.
A sprawling thousand-worder published yesterday in the New York Times confirms that ardor-fearing MTA passengers are engaged in a constant lobbying campaign with the agency to ban commercial materials that they -- the ones who don't do the sex -- deem too sexy.
"With scantily clad bodies lurking around every corner on billboards and magazines, the subway might be one of the last bastions of modesty in public," the writer, Emma G. Fitzsimmons, gamely explains of this dissenting opinion. The stance is shared by a disparate cohort of religious, cultural, and outdated interest groups, none of which, at press time, have been able to confirm they've ever mouth-kissed another person, even briefly.