Just like how our public transit infrastructure increasingly can't seem to handle all the people who use it every day and how our electrical utilities keep exploding in manhole fires, it turns out NYC's sewage system is also going to crap thanks to all the butt wipes and other wet wipes we've been flushing down the toilet over the last few years.
According to an in-depth report on the crap-tastrophe by The New York Times on Friday, while many wet wipe products are labeled as "flushable" on packaging and in advertising, city officials said a lot of the wipes don't agree with the city's sewage system, a vast network of underground plumbing that's apparently as volatile as your bowels after a bad fish taco. As more adults have chosen butt wipes instead of basic toilet paper for their butthole hygiene over the years, the city has spent over $18 million on fixing the mess they've created -- like clogged pumps and overwhelmed sewage treatment plants.
The story paints a pretty horrific picture, telling of a sewage treatment worker who used a rake to clear a bunch wipes -- still intact -- stuck to gears, and walls, and rails at a facility.
To combat the caca chaos, the City Council has introduced legislation that would prohibit some wet wipe products from being advertised as flushable (not an outright ban on the wipes), and the city's environmental officials are planning to launch an awareness campaign compelling New Yorkers to toss their beloved butt wipes in the trash, the Times reported. Or you could just throw them out the window and onto the street, right? Just kidding. Please don't do that.
So basically, if you give a crap about the city, stop flushing your butt wipes.
Tony Merevick is Cities News Editor at Thrillist and hopes everyone does their part in avoiding a crap disaster. Send news tips to him at firstname.lastname@example.org and follow him on Twitter @tonymerevick.