Location: West Islip, Long Island
Last week, we pointed out a sex toy with both female and male parts to play with, but this week, we found a sex toy that's apparently supposed to be like a life-size person. Aptly(?!?) priced at $6,900, this "brand new" and "official" RealDoll 2 was simply purchased for a magazine photo shoot and was apparently "never used for its intended use." Uh huh. Along with supposedly being life-like, incredibly adjustable and structurally sound, the doll has 7 inch deep removable mouth inserts, removable vagina inserts for ease of cleaning, and a deep anal opening. Oh, and there's also a removable vagina hair strip, because why the hell not?!?!?
Location: Jersey Shore
Just in time for your House of Cards marathon this weekend, here's a toilet you can roll up to your couch so that you don't miss a single moment in the day to watch the new episodes. Because why wouldn't anyone do that if they're already eschewing hygienic things like showering or changing their underwear anyway? According to the listing, this portable throne is sturdy, adjustable, has a back rest, arm rests, and a splash guard for your particularly presidential poops, or as we now call them, Underwoods.
Tony Merevick is Cities News Editor at Thrillist and has never been able to successfully sell anything on Craigslist. Follow him on Twitter @tonymerevick.