Facebook Plus Robots Equals... Cocktails?

Finally a use for Facebook that involves neither kittens nor your ex's relationship status. Irish whiskey brand Tullamore Dew has created a bartending robot programmed to mine your Facebook profile for personal information then design a cocktail just for you. Dubbed the “Icebreaker Machine,” it’s designed to help people start conversations about themselves by using customized cocktails as a jumping-off point.

A collaboration between Edelman Deportivo (a marketing agency) and Swedish inventor Andreas Hammer, the Icebreaker is an actual, wire and metal machine currently making the rounds at Stockholm bars. Its creators claim the machine is capable of mixing up to 5,000 different drink combinations. However, in our experience, every one of them contained Tullamore Dew (only natural, given that this is, at heart, a marketing stunt).

We look forward to a day when robot bartenders break free of their corporate overlords to roam the world, mixing up anything their gleaming cyberhearts desire, from a gin rickey for your friend who only posts Fitzgerald quotes, to a Singapore Sling for your eccentric great aunt who can't stop tagging you in her reminiscences of her youthful visits to Raffles.

While they're at it, we hope they improve their cocktail naming game. When we visited theicebreakermachine.com, it kicked us back a recipe for a glorified whiskey sour called Asbury Park Boardwalk–It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia–Tiger D.E.W. In other words, your local bartender's job should be safe for another year or two.