English People Are Getting Free Wine With Their Cable, Why Can’t We?

Virgin Media is giving away free cases of wine to encourage people in the U.K. to buy broadband and TV bundles. To which we have to say, ahem, cable companies, we’re also not buying bundles either, and we definitely like wine.

The news is good for the brits though. Depending on the bundle you choose, Virgin will give you eight to 14 bottles of wine worth up to $265. Plus TV and internet, if that’s your thing. The wines come from Virgin’s own Virgin Wines line (yes, Virgin owns a wine company, too). Virgin Wines, according to its website, focuses on “handcrafted, international wines that are anything but dull — no mass-produced plonk, no overpriced names.” In other words, wines that would be lovely to drink while streaming Netflix on your new superfast broadband and simultaneously playing a sports game via your new cable subscription (or whatever it is that people use cable to watch).

Attention Comcast, Verizon, Spectrum: You know what Americans like to do? Drink and watch things.

It’s not just idle wine-ing (sorry). Americans hate traditional cable and satellite TV companies—and that is the nicest way to put it. As of 2017, more than 34 million Americans over the age of 18 had never subscribed to a TV bundle, and more than 22 million became “cord cutters.” One survey found that 47 percent of customers reported a negative experience with Comcast, one of the largest bundlers. If you can’t give us cheap rates and customer service, at least give us wine. It’s the only way to appease the masses at this point.