Evernote

A good personal assistant can make every element of your life easier -- but why pay someone who's just going to sue you when you sleep with them? Get organizational help on the free, with EverNote.

Note creates a centralized, comprehensive info repository you can easily search when the time strikes -- like a brain unburdened by drugs, booze, and not caring in the first place. Your account lets you highlight/clip web pages or type in memos, but to truly take advantage, send Note your photos: when you search, their mind-boggling proprietary image-recognition technology will decipher your penmanship, and crunch everything from t-shirt text, to street signs, to skywriting advertising "$2 Heinies at Señor Frog's". Some applications: phone-photoing business cards to create an online rolodex, cataloging shots of all the wines/menu items you've enjoyed, and snapping named-tagged people at conferences to pretend you remember them when you're searching for people to buy you wines/menu items.

You can always use Note online, but the downloadable version offers additional features, like off-line access and the ability to drag and drop images and audio right into the app -- freeing up more time for semi-consensual sex with the assistant you just couldn't say goodbye to.