Just because you haven't gotten a tattoo doesn't mean you're afraid -- you just want to be buried in a Jewish cemetery, even though you're Lutheran. So get your t-shirt brilliantly inked instead, from Tees and Tats.
Graphic'd in sprawling Nippon-style art, T&T's the debut line from Marco Serio, who took the typical route to becoming an internationally acclaimed Japanese-themed tattoo artist: be born in Portugal, move to the Lower East Side. The seven designs run from the traditionally florid (flower petal ensconced Geisha, prowling Bengal tiger) to Kurosawa-esque hardcore (samurai skull with enmeshed snake, dragon wrapped around sword); each design runs rampant over the back, but is only barely visible from the front, giving you mullet-like business/party flexibility. All tees are 100% combed ringspun cotton, with each model produced in a limited run of 700 -- generous but still exclusive, plus it gives discerning shirtists of all religions a chance to join the 700 Club.
Like the work they're inspired by, T&T's artistry can be pricey -- if this frightens you, it doesn't necessarily mean you're cheap, just that you're saving up so that your inkless body may one day repose in a sweet plot at the Gates of Zion.