The American justice system prides itself on meting out impartial justice to offenders...but where's the fun in that? Peer down the rabbit hole of vigilantism, with FelonSpy.
Spy's a new database-o'-criminalia that apprises you of ex-cons in your 'hood via a handy GMap, narrated in a refreshingly disturbing tone that'll help you appreciate just "how...protective you should be of your un-raped genitals". Just type in your address, and up'll pop publicly posted lawbreakers (e.g., "attempted use of a child in a sexual performance"), as well as more difficult-to-pin offenders -- perpetrators of everything from vehicular assault, to arson, to "menacing", which amazingly, Nancy Grace has yet to be convicted of. The fanatical rhetoric might lead you to believe the site's a hoax*: Spy encourages everyone to get in on the act by reporting known criminals to them, and always carrying a "video camera, pepper spray, and a concealed pistol" -- exactly what you're already toting around in your quest to out-crazy those Jackass guys.