There are methods aplenty for expanding your mind -- psychotropics to induce euphoric visions, The Matrix to plumb the depths of tired sequels -- but what about expanding your tongue? Here to be Tim Leary for your taste buds: Miracle Fruit Parties.
Organized by StreetWars' honcho, "Supreme Commander", MFPs are underground bacchanalias celebrating a rare West African berry: Synsepalum dulcificum, which makes sour foods sweet, but has been banned as a food additive due to pressure from "Big Splenda". Parties begin when you pop a cranberry-sized fruit, numbing your tongue's sour receptors for 20-30mins before you have to re-up, thus prepping you for the tart grub spread, from lemons that'll taste like pixy stix, to goat cheese that'll taste like frosting (suck on that, Betty Crocker). Then wash it all down with a procession of stouts and tequilas, which'll taste respectively like milkshakes and lemonades -- what you secretly yearn for while choking down stouts and tequilas.
Registration starts today for the first of these five super-limited gatherings. If you don't get in, Supreme's also peddling berries themselves -- so you can pop one of these little red boys on your couch, and be amazed at how sweet Laurence Fishburne is at Kung Fu.