Merkur Futur Razor
In this fretful climate of Cold War-style blade-count escalation, a lone voice cries out to stop the madness. Glasnost your face with the Merkur Futur.The titan of the single blade, Merkur got in the razor game over 100 years ago -- paving the way for the facial hair virtuosity of Kaiser Wilhelm II and his almost-world-beating upturned Imperial moustache. Shaped to fit your thumb and forefinger, the Futur's double-edged blade offers six clog-preventing closeness settings; meanwhile, its elongated stainless steel handle's endowed with heft so sword-like in its balance, Inigo Montoya would use it to rob the Six Fingered Man of his natty goatee. Operating this MF's a bit different than a standard razor: lose the short, quick strokes for nick-deterring long ones, and before you know it, your face'll be smoother than John Oates' bass playing (but not his lip, because despite his recent whiskerlessness, a soul 'stache remains).Unlike with a drugstore razor, replacement blades only run about fifty cents, and'll last a week -- by which point the other razor companies' brinksmanship will have brought about a 50-bladed apocalypse.